"I can't go back and change the past. I wish I had waited."

All too often teens are placing themselves in dangerous situations that could change their life forever.

There can be no argument over the best, most healthy, and most consistently effective form of birth control and prevention against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in our day. In fact, astoundingly, this method costs no money and has proven itself 100 percent successful to all those wise and happy people who have tried it. Want to know what it is? Abstinence. That's right, if you hadn't guessed it, it's abstinence.

The only truly "safe sex" is to save sex until you are in the committed, lifelong relationship of marriage. There are at least six compelling reasons to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. They are: (1) the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, (2) the risk of unplanned pregnancy, (3) condoms are an unreliable protection against disease and pregnancy, (4) sex is powerfully bonding, (5) sex outside of marriage is damaging to relationships, (6) the many significant rewards offered to those who wait. 

Abstinence is just simply the healthiest behavior for unmarried individuals. It is not only the logic of the previous six reasons to wait that proves this, but also the following facts:

• Abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and other associated health problems.
• Sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects.
• Bearing children out of wedlock is likely to have harmful consequences for the child, the child's parents, and society.

Not All Teens Are "Doing It"

Some teens fear that if they are not having sex by the end of their high school years then they are the only ones. The popular lie goes, "If you are still a virgin, then something must be wrong with you." However, the opposite is true. Teens presently abstaining from sexual activity may be representing the majority of teenagers, not an isolated and dysfunctional minority.

In dispelling the popular myth that all teens "are doing it," one which many "safe sex" campaigns promote as justification for widespread distribution of condoms to students, an important report has now documented the truth that more than half of all high school students have never engaged in sexual activity, and nearly four in 10 teens will graduate from high school as virgins. In fact, only about 33 percent are sexually active ongoing. An April 27, 2000, news release from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy was honest enough to publish these survey results:

"Nearly six of 10 teens do not think that it is acceptable for high school-age teens to be sexually active even if they take precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. . . . More than 93 percent of teens also think it is important for teens to be given a strong message from society that they should abstain from sex until they are at least out of high school." ("The Cautious Generation?" Released by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, April 27, 2000.)

Secondary Virginity

Maybe you've already had sex and so you feel abstinence is something that doesn't apply to you. One of the greatest lies circulating today goes like this, "Since I've already had sex, it doesn't matter what I do anymore." Nothing could be further from the truth. For the more sex you have the greater risk you run of catching an STI or getting pregnant, and the more bondedness and memories you create with another that when broken will leave enduring scars on your heart and mind.

Many, many people who have had sex previously and then have come to see the wisdom and blessing in saving sex for marriage have entered a period of "secondary virginity" in their lives. That is, they have committed to abstaining from sexual activity from this point in their lives forward. Many have developed plans to avoid the temptation of lust and premarital sex and have gathered supportive people around them to help them fulfill their goals for a healthy and happy future. Even though we have all made mistakes in the past, those mistakes do not have to define our present or determine our future. We are still in control of the choices we make today, choices which will shape our lives in the future.